Visual – It’s not a secret that men heighten their arousal through sight. In fact, it’s a myth that women don’t – both sexes benefit from watching the action as it happens. It can actually start just by watching you undress for what’s coming next. Also, focusing on some positions that ‘put on a show’ will help to set him off. Having sex near or in front of a mirror can add another dimension to your bedroom antics, as you’ll both be able to look into each other’s eyes in any position, but you’ll both also be able to see almost everything that goes on. It’s also up to you to feel comfortable and confident, so don’t step out of your comfort zone if you feel things are going too far.

Physical – Every man has his own areas that can be stimulated. Some like their ear lobes licked and tugged, some may feel a little spark through the perineum, which you can stimulate with your finger or thumb. There are even a few hidden places, such as below the Adam’s apple, or along the ribs. Caress him, feel places you wouldn’t touch during sex normally, and maybe you’ll find a new intense area. These places tend to open themselves up over time, but the most important thing is to engage with your partner.

Verbal – good communication always leads to great sex, and you’ll know when he’s feeling great if he’s making noise. Whether it be through moans, groans or speech, let him know you’re enjoying hearing him, and encourage him out of his shell. You’ll see a benefit too, as it will help draw you further into the mood.

With all that advice in mind, here are some positions to try (if you haven’t already):

Cowgirl – or ‘on top’. This gives him a great view of both your bodies and also what’s happening between you. You control the speed, and you can lean back for a little more tension.

Reverse cowgirl – A little more advanced, in this position you face away from your partner.

Once you’ve blown his mind, you might be surprised to discover how quickly he wants to return the favour!

While the humble hand job is often eschewed in favour of oral or penetrative sex, there's no reason it can't be just as satisfying. Whether you're looking for a safe way to play in the early days of the relationship, a way to pleasure him when you're not in the mood or a great form of foreplay that will also teach you about his body, using your hands on your man should not be underestimated.

Lube can make things flow so much more smoothly: it reduces friction, helping your hand glide more easily, and opening up a whole host of techniques.

Apply the lube to your hands to warm it first - warming and tingling lubes can help add an extra thrill - then stroke your man from the base of the shaft to the tip of the glans. Listen to his body as well as his groans - if he arches towards you, chances are you're hitting the spot. The frenulum (the string that runs from the glans to the shaft) can be particularly sensitive, and letting your thumb glide over it with every stroke can offer a particularly delicious tease.

Don't just use one hand: let the other explore his erogenous zones. Some men enjoy ball play: try softly stroking them, cupping them or gently tugging on them as you stroke his shaft. And if he's into prostate stimulation, try combining that with masturbating his shaft.

Alternatively, use both hands on his shaft. Trying lacing your fingers together (making sure to lube your palms first) then sliding them over him, pulsing your palms as you go. Alternatively, use one hand to stroke up and down his shaft while the other one cups the head of the penis, circling (in a move sexpert Lou Paget calls 'Squeezing the Orange') If he's well endowed, you can also use one hand on top of the other to snugly enclose his member.

Best of all, learn from the man himself. Ask your lover to masturbate in front of you, putting your hand on top of his to feel how tightly he grips, how fast he moves and where he positions his fingers. You can guarantee he'll have a lot more practice than you and will know exactly how to best pleasure himself. Copy his moves and you won't go far wrong.

Sex can be rife with insecurities, particularly given the pressure that women are put under to look 'perfect'. However, confidence is far sexier than any physical ideal so relax and you're a lot more likely to get the sex life you want. Here are some common concerns.

Porn often depicts women who fit a certain stereotype: big breasts, fake tan and slim figures. However, people find many different body types attractive. Being insecure will have much more of a negative effect on sex than a bit of cellulite, so accept your body and know that any partner who's in bed with you will be too busy enjoying what they love to focus on bits you hate.

Most men experience erection issues at some point in their lives, and contrary to the stereotype, they don't all want sex all the time. If your lover turns down sex or isn't able to perform, it's more likely to be about him than you. Stress, alcohol and a poor lifestyle are just a few things that can hamper sex so if he can't perform, don't judge yourself (or him) harshly. Accept it as one of those things (unless it happens regularly in which case encourage him to go to the doctors). He can always use his hands or mouth to satisfy you. And you can take matters into your own hands or use a toy too.

Just as men worry about penis size, women may worry that their not toned enough down below, particularly after childbirth. However, kegel exercises will help you stay toned and increase blood flow to the area which helps boost your orgasmic chances too.

Every man has his own preferences so ask him what he likes - or better yet, show you. Don't worry about asking for guidance: it shows you care about his pleasure and means he gets the sex he wants, so it's in his interests too.

Many women feel insecure about receiving oral but as long as you're clean and STI-free, there's no reason to worry about the way that you taste. If you feel insecure - or your partner is squeamish - shower together first to help allay your fears.